OK, let’s do the roast here:
TikTok: The Taliban are Xi Jinping’s new buddies. Expect that “ban” to be reversed in a month or two.
Facebook: Zuck would sell his own mother to the Taliban. He will keep the violence off, but be hawking Taliban-made turbans and burkas for a fee. Just watch.
WhatsApp: “as a private messaging service, we do not have access to the contents of people’s personal chats.” Bullshit. You do. You will interlink it with their Facebook to sell them machetes and whips. Which are made in China.
Google/YouTube: “Well…if China is buddying up to them, let’s see where this goes.” Basically telling the Taliban to use their platform as long as they don’t identify as such.
Twitter: “Screw Trump. Let’s screw with him more by giving the Taliban more access.”